I have a darling 5 year old son..well almost five. He will insist that he is four and three quarter right now. I am very fortunate to have a very supportive extended family, ever since I had him. I can say to some extent that it’s I who has been spoilt since his birth with the amount of support I have received in taking care of him.
It’s the summer of 2009 and we’re in the windy city of Chicago. My in-laws visited us in January ‘09 and we were wondering what summer camp to put my son in from mid-June ‘09 till August ‘09 end. And my in-laws offered to take him to India for the summer. And right there the plan was made. I would take my son to India, he would stay with his grandparents for 2 months or so and then his dad would go pick him up. Took me sometime to take it in. Hmmm….was this a boon or a bane?
Suddenly from getting up at 5:30 am, running around getting him ready, getting myself ready, fixing breakfast, and rushing to school so as not to be tardy now I could wake up at 7 am, read the morning newspaper (what’s that??), actually sit down with my coffee and leave for work at a sane time! My husband and I could have our second honeymoon..OMG!!
There was one part of me that was just ecstatic and another which said..stop it, that’s NOT how you should feel. You should feel guilty. Good mothers shouldn’t feel happy while sending away their children. I was torn apart. When I even ran this idea past my friends and co-workers everyone looked at me with this ‘oh aren’t you going to miss your son??’ look. To send or not to send my son for a break to India?
Every rose has its thorns. Good comes with bad. Such if life! I could enjoy the summer with my son, go for picnics, build sand castles on the beach and go swimming but would have to send him to summer camp through the day (which would really break my heart as kids need that summer break). On the other hand I could send him with his grandparents so that he could stay in his birth country, attend weddings and meet his relatives. It would be so enriching for him! And a little time for my husband and I wouldn’t certainly hurt
So off he went..and he has been gone 6 weeks now and how has it been?
Salt and pepper, good and bad, black and white.
I got plenty of ‘me’ time and my husband and I together got a lot of ‘us’ time!My son attended two weddings in India, visited my parents, met his great-grand mother and his cousins..ate a lit of different types of food and played, like how a child his age should be! I read a lot (I actually know the daily fluctuations in the DOW), improved a lot on my tennis, worked out regularly and did a lot of shopping (of course had to be).
At first it hurt that he didn’t ‘miss’ me entirely. There are other people in his life and it hurt to know that, to accept it as a mother. I am apprehensive this break may have caused some distance between him and I and that it might take me a few days to get back to where we were. This is probably me being selfish, insecure??
But slowly, after his initial joy of not going to school and lazing around, he’s beginning to miss what we used to do together. I talk to him on Skype, using a web cam, two-three times a week and he doesn’t want to end the conversation at all now! Which is heartening to know. And I REALLY miss him now.
So was this break worth it? I ask myself. Would I do this again? I am not so sure. I will have to evaluate it at the time, if and when I am faced with this decision again. I certainly can’t say I’ve not enjoyed the last 6 weeks. To be entirely truthful, I’ve had a great time though of course there have been times when I have longed to hug him, to have him run into my arms and ask me his incessant questions.
In two weeks he is going to be back…and my life will be back to the craziness it used to have. Weekday mad dash, weekend classess, cooking sprees, planning dinners, grocery shopping, parent-teacher conference..you name it. I’ll be back center stage in my son’s life. But you know what, there’s no other way I would have my life!!
